Posts Tagged ‘mood’

Frustration

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

Training this week is not going to go well.  I’m call yesterday, today and Friday. Tomorrow I have a meeting in the evening and on Thursday, my half day, I have a clinic appointment at 1:30.  So my training opportunities’ are Thursday pm, I will ride to work on Friday and then ride to my parents Saturday and then onto Storrington on Sunday.  Its just not enough though. I am feeling frustrated and irritable but am clinging on.  I am sure next week I will be feeling a bit better again. (more…)

Training in May

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Despite a few problems May was the most training I have ever done.  Below are some stats if you are at all interested. (more…)

Fatigue

Monday, May 25th, 2009

I don’t know why but at the moment I seem very tired with a very flat mood. My sleep has been very disrupted and as a result I have not felt much like doing anything, let alone cycling. I suppose I am glad that I have this trip to look forward to doing as it gives me an incentive to get up and do some exercise.
The good thing is I have managed to do some cycling.
On Saturday I went for a ride with Soph around Lewes which was lovely, we found a pub by the river which we will probably go back to.
Today I did the Haywards Heath loop again. It was wet weather and I was going to finish by climbing the beacon but just did not feel in the mood for the pain!

Its been a lazy week

Friday, May 22nd, 2009

Well I have sort of had a rest week so far, Tuesday evening we went and saw Star Trek which was excellent but it finished quite late. I was on call on Wednesday and woke up with a very low mood, unfortunately it did not lift during the day and in the evening I just lay down in the on-call room and dozed on and off until the morning.  Thankfully I did not get called as I probably would of been quite rude on the phone.

Thursday was a better day with a reasonable morning.  In the afternoon I did my little Haywards Heath loop which normally takes about an hour.

Today I had the day off, I did a low intensity ride this morning followed this evening by a cycle to the local swimming pool and one hour of swimming. I have not done any serious swimming for a long time and it showed, after 10 lengths my arms and back were aching as I think I over stretched muscles. I managed a hour of swimming but was very disappointed with my ability and so I will try to increase the amount of swimming I do and incorporate it in my training plan.

Next week I have another 100 mile ride so I will need to increase my training.

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Motivation

Thursday, April 30th, 2009

Why am I going to do this bike ride?
Am I mad?
Is it because I am super fit?
Is it a way of being noticed?
Is it because I need a goal in life?
I am not sure but I don’t think its any of the above. I know this blog in some way a method of preparing myself and stopping me from backing out.
I have a fear of failure and consequently I set very high goals for my self. If I don’t reach that goal I feel that I have failed. I don’t look back and go look how well I have done, I have done all this but just couldn’t manage the last bit. All I see is that I have not completed what I set out to do.
As a result of this, I think, I feel as though I rarely reach my own unrealistic expectations and this leads me to feel depressed.
Sometimes I will not even attempt something if I feel I might fail.
Like many people who suffer from depression I fail to see my achievements; becoming a doctor, marrying an amazing woman, being a reasonable photographer, having wonderful friends.
I want this bike ride to be one of those achievements but if it does not go exactly to plan to know that I have given it my best shot and hopefully will have raised money to help sick pilgrims go to Lourdes in the future.
I know what the Arundel and Brighton pilgrimage has done for me: inner healing, great friendships and a beautiful intelligent wife. I hope to give something extra in return and I am looking forward to the challenge.